class gathering

Rouyi took her ink-stained uniform off from the rack and stared at it for the longest time. it had been years since she last wore it. it must had been more than a decade she thought. a rare occasion of class gathering, a werid sort she felt. on the 1st year aniversery of their form teacher's death the class was calling for a gathering and all students were expected to don on their school uniform. the ink stained on her uniform was her last piece of memory from her ex-secondary school. had it not been stained and chucked into her cupboard, it would had been thrown away with the other old uniforms. she chuckle as she recalled the day the ink stained her uniform.

it was the hottest day in history of that year, everyone was hot and bothered. the only way to escape from such heat was to sneak out of class and chill in the library. she being the class library had all the privilage of the world to get into the library without being questioned. but the tricky part was to get out of class. thus she formulated an act to get her out of the class. RouYi took out her bottle of ink meant for her art lesson and unscrewed it, placing it really near to her. As Mdm Jung walked pass RouYi knocked onto the ink bottle and caused the entire bottle of ink to splashed on herself and Mdm Jung's left leg. Before Mdm Jung could said anything RouYi started crying and screaming at the state of her uniform. Swiftly she was escorted to the nearest toilet and a new set of uniform loaned from the school office was given to her to change. but she insisted in wearing her own set. Mdm Jung thinking it was her fault came into the toilet and tried to talk RouYi out of her stubborness but to no avail. RouYi argued that the new set of uniform wasn't hers and must be filled with germs and thus refused to change into it then she went on to dry her uniform with the hand-drier mounted to the wall. while doing so she bargained with Mdm Jung to allow her to self-study in the library as she was afraid that she may be laughed at by her fellow classmates. after much bargaining RouYi got her way and was allowed to stay in the cool air-conditioned library for the rest of the day til her dad came to fetch her home.

attending the class gathering was not a mere gathering of old friends and talking about the past and discussing about the future. but to RouYi it was a way of remembering her teachers.

she stood in the rain, drenched from outside in, top to bottom. her eyes are red from crying or from the merciless cold rain? the sun is nowhere in sight despite it being 6am. the sun ought to be raising somewhere, somehow by now, she thought to herself. light should always beam through from the end of the tunnel. why isn't hers? or perhaps she is not in a tunnel but trapped in the stand-still of misery and pain. her tears had ceased and taken over by the countless drop of raindrops hitting against her face.

he had promised to meet her here at their usual meeting place. he had mentioned earlier that it was important, it was something he had always wanted to tell her and she could wait no longer. it got to be now and here. her heart missed a beat and imagined in her head the hundred and one possiblity of what could be the urgency. had he finally made up his mind to leave his wife and start a new life with her? or had he managed to booked that exclusive restort in the mid-easten seas to celebrate their 100 days? or maybe just maybe he had gotten the hinge that she may be carrying his baby in her?

the darkness of the early morning slowly fades away as she waits with great anticipation. suddenly a lightening flashes through the sky, followed by a loud thunder deafen her ears. she looks up the sky and thought she saw a dragon flew past crying in the process as it did so. must had been a bad omen she felt.

a luxary car pulled up before her, instead of inviting her into the car or him stepping out from it. he had winded down his window and spoke in a cold and distance voice. its over. the shortlived joy and romantic is over. she was nothing but a new toy to him then but now an old toy to him. she is no longer interesting to him, her innocent and coy ways were getting on his nerves. he said she was too weak to fit into the role of the kept lady. she is better of being that innocent, coy and shy decent gir that she was. along with the hurtful words came another blow, she was fired from her current job and she was to instructed to move to another state far away from him and his family. she was discarded with no proper explaination. she fought her tears and controlled her anger. her immediate thoughts were not of her own but of her mother and kid brothers who are all relying on her to send home the money. how is she to continue to do so?

as she stood there alone the sky darken and strong wind started the sweep up the leaves on the ground into a whirlwind near her, dust forced it ways into her eyes and tears swelled up into her ducts. the car was no longer within sight and the rain started to pour. there she stood still and lost. where, who, what, when, how now?

tek-the great?

he was doomed for death the moment he stepped into the office. the rumors of his termination had been lurking for the longest time. but this time he is certain it is no more a rumor but a reality. what he did the last weekend was the last straw that broke the camel back he felt. damn those golf trips, he thought as he pushed his backpack under his desk.

sok, walked brisky behind him and tap him on the shoulder and uttered something into his ear. tek stood up immediately, straighten his shirt and walked towards the boss's office. every step he took was burden with worries and uncertainities. tek knocked on the door and let himself in. boss had his back against the door and was facing the window, although there was nothing much to see out from the window boss loves this standing position the most when faced with a difficult decision. "good morning sir." tek said, in the faint attempt to catch the boss's attention.

"good morning tek. you had proved yourself a great player that evening on the greens. but i am more impressed by the high handed way you dealt with mr dut. he got him really fuming mad do you know? it will be great to earn his contract but even if not, i would really love to remind friends with him, you know." tek lowered his head and understood the boss's meaning. yet deep inside him, tek felt unjustified. why should he be taking the blame for trying to strive for the goal that everyone wants? he was begaining to feel mad about himself for being dumb to act for the good of everyone while killing himself in the end. "tek, we all know that if the deal get pulled through with mr dut, it will solve our company's crisis and in fact it will gurantee us a smooth sailing year for the rest this year and the rest of the next 3 years. i was just thinking..." tek was so engrossed with his interalised anger that he had lost track of the boss's speech. then as if overcame by some supernatural power, tek mustered his strenght and banged the table infornt of him. "STOP IT, if you want to fire me then do so. stop playing mind games with me."

the room was filled with a moment of stillness, the air stopped circulating, the gentle humming sound of the air-con seems to had shut up too. then came a loud laughter "tek...tek...tek... you are always so impatient and quick to judge. how are you going to do great things with such a behavior? why should i be firing you? you are my best assest in the company. despite all the big and stupid mistake you had done in the past, you had always rounded it up to make it a happy ending for me and the company. why should i fire you, dumb ass. kid, listen up. mr dut is happy with the crazy stunt you pulled last night, so he had signed the contract with me this morning before he left for USA for his conference." the news of the contract was like a refreshing breeze of warm air that brushes tek's face. he broke into smiles and jumped up. he knew he is safe this time and had earn big bucks for the company. now he is truly safe from all rumors of termination and retreachment talks. he is afterall AN ASSEST to the company! in times of turbulence and uncertainly, tek gotten a promotion and a good pay raise. walkinng out of the office, everyone outside was glancing at the office wondering what must had happened inside, the banging of the table and the laughter that followed were enough to kill any curious cat that morning.

tek walked over to eve and said it loud enough for eve, in fact for all, to hear; i am safe and i got it good! smirkingly he walked to the desk and started packing his stuff. as he walked out of the office, he walked past his team leader's desk and said "hey kid, i am taking my leave today so don't try calling me yah? and by the way, i think it will be good if you can start getting someone to clear out the new office for me,"

tek rode the life to the basement and out of his backpack he wipes out a pair of in-line skates. after putting them on, tek skated down the streets of the busy business district to his 1-room studio apartment. picking up his phone, he spoke "hey, pal. shall we go and hit some greens today?"

maill me a bride 1

sowai-male. age 47, shy, quiet but caring. works as a proof-reader and occasional mysteries shopper.

mrs chai-female. widow, age 82. sowai's mother. sociable and loves travelling. ardors little children

yamei-female. age 42. single.

story.....

mr and mrs chai married young. in fact they were childhood lovers, living only a street away in the good old days of ancient china. their parents were owners of plantations and ships. their marriage was expected of even though they were both less than 20 yrs of age. the marriage brought mr and mrs chai together physically, it foster a greater business relationship between the 2 most affluence family of that province.

5 years into the marriage, occurrences of flood and drought hit the province. with such natural disaster, mr chai (now the head of the household) was at wits end. the plantation was not yield enough crops to fed the household, let alone for sales or export. ships were docked at the harbour for the fear of capsizing if ventured out into the sea on those stormy days. the money reserved were greatly stretched to provide for the immediate family, extended families and all the workers that were under the chai's family care. then... the war broke out between the different parties of china. the chai fall from riches to rag. capped with different names branded on them by the red-flaggers, the chai had by no choice to surrender all of their properties.

mr and mrs chai by then were parents of 3 tender aged children. due to the lack of hygiene and nutrient mrs chai watched her beloved offspring suffered and eventually die. mr chai could bear to see his loving wife suffer no more. events of how his own parents were killed protecting their plantations and how his children suffered replayed in his sleep day after day. mr chai fell into depression drawing the once endearing couple into silents. they would spent days not talking to each other even though they slept in the same bed. hunger and cold was of little torture to them compared the state of unloving-ness they were in. the bitterness of life was slowly but surely killing them at great speed.

1 day, mrs chai fainted in the field. news reached mr chai and he dashed home. he found his wife vomiting non-stop with constant complaint of dizziness. he feared that she must had gotten some food poisoning or sort. it was common back then to have people die of vomiting. he sought help from doctors from the nearby 1st aid house but due to the branding that was capped on him and his wife, the doctor refuse to attend house call for him. no choice, he returned home. on the way home he was toying with the idea of how he will kill himself if mrs chai was to die before him.

as he pushed open the flimsy door of the house, he was greeted by a couple of old ladies. each weeping as they held his hands. mr chai thought that the was it. her beloved must had died! then one of the granny pulled mr chai to 1 corner and spoke to him in a soft voice. "xiao chai, ur wife is expecting a baby. thank god! the heavens had finally seen ur sorrow and tears over the lost darlings. but i fear for ur wife's health. she is too weak. if this continue she may never be able to carry the baby to term. u and ur dad had been good to us villagers during the past. so here take the little that we had gathered and go to nanyang. find a better life and carry on ur family's name"

mr chai unfolded the handkerchief that was pushed into his hands and found pieces of gold bars, jewelleries and some money. tearing mr chai kneed before the old ladies and kowtow to them. thanking them for saving not only his unborn child but the whole of the chai bloodline.

---many years later---

mr chai had since then passed on. he was a honest man, living his life as a teacher in singapore and he was among the 1st to had stood before the state flag pledging his loyalty to the country. although mr chai had left for many years now, mrs chai would lovingly clean and stroke his photo which hangs on the living room every morning.

sowai was the 1 and only living child that the chais had. although mrs chai did try to conceive numerous times after settling down in singapore, her body was simply too weak to have anymore children. thus sowai grew up pampered and ferociously protected. resulting in sowai's passive and weak personality. he is everyone mr nice guy but was often bullied back in school and taken advantage of at work. sowai never once complaint.

mrs chai often complaint of how unfilial sowai is, for being single and not bearing her any grandchildren. mrs chai will nag sowai non-stop everytime she sees her friends/neighbours babysitting their grandchildren. sowai will often sit quietly on the sofa while his mother nag on, occassionally when he had enough he will hide in his bedroom practising his chinese painting.

mrs chai's taichi kakis had adviced her to take action before its too late. they suggested matchmaking, STU and even oversea bride. but sowai refused every single one of it.

mrs chai vowed before her dying husband before that she will ensure that the chai's bloodline will never end. in order to live up to her promise mrs chai decide this time she must take things into her own hands and make sure that the chai bloodline will continue.

new post

had been such a long since i write a story. let the creativity flows!

wend's story

wend was the typical chinese family breed girl. living with her multi-generational family members. she grew up hating relationships. she had it being the youngest. having to call every uncles and aunties and elder cousins and siblings in the early morning before being able to sink her teeth into her simple peanut sandwich. after the simple yet ever so complex breakfast. she had to bid every single elderly folk in the house before leaving the house with her numerous cousin to the elementary school. in school she was consistently being compared with her elder siblings and cousins by teachers regading conduct and results. no matter how hard she tries to be prefect, she was never enough to make the mark for those whom she so dearly wants to impress and loved by.

while others in her similar situation made the headlines for running away from home and doing crimes. wend's only way of shouting out was her journal. wend writes her sorrows and shames, her worries and pains in that normal looking exercise book of hers. nothing fanciful nor eye-catching but she secretly hopes that someone would eventually finds it, reads it and understand her somehow. months of waiting turned to years of waiting. nobody picked up her journal. from the inital 1 book it had now turned into a large collection of old exercise-books. her elder cousin, who shared her room, had been screaming for her to throw out the stack of rubbish in the room. afterall it had been years since she graduated from school!

taking her memories and pains of growing up with her into the open yard. wend lighted a match-stick and began to burnt her journal in the joss-bin. as the paper crumbles and turn into ashes floating in the air along with the breeze. wend found a place of rest. she knew that all of her thoughts and angish had been heard, heard by the Guy Up There. He must be reading the journals now. He must be weeping at my sorrows and smiling at my joys. as all the journals turned into countless small air-pollutants, wend smiled thinking how her thoughts had troubled her mind polluating it to no-ends. perphase today is a good day to start afresh. a new cavanas is waiting to be painted everyday.

just let him love u

lady joan was in love with lord jescht. the initial rush of first love overwhelms her, she was thinking of him day and night. dreaming of him, doing things that will bring her near to him.

after years of courtship and being near, lady joan felt that she was getting too accustom to the ways of lord jescht. his every thought and action and respond was within the prediction of lady joan. she was getting a little sick and tired of the same old way of lord jescht. while others encourage lady joan to press on with the relationship, singing praises of lord jescht how faithful he is, how steadfast his chacter was. lady joan was getting bored.

lady joan look for alternatives to fill in the excitment that was lacking in her relationship with lord jescht. she found 'happiness' while it last but when the 'joy' ends, she was back to herself. she wanted to find ways to love lord jescht again. she wanted to spice up their relationship again. but it just never happened the way she hope it will be.

lady joan sought many help. she tried fasting and praying. she tried thinking of lord jescht for a long time but ended up dozing instead. then one day some wiseman told lady joan "your love for lord jescht had matured over the years. the love that exist between the both of you will never present itself as that adrenline-filled 1st love again. its a love of committment and respect. try loving him as a part of ur body. always most forgotten but often most important."

lady joan laughed at the advise and told the old man "love is passion! its a desire. without these 2, what is there to look forward in love? who are you to tell me of love? old man, unmarried and totally single!" lady joan left the old wiseman.

someday later, lady joan met with a terrible news. her mother whom was faraway in another country visiting their royal relatives were killed when an ox run over her. lady joan was so heartbroken that she refused to eat, drink and spent her days couping in bed weeping.

lord jescht stood outside her bedroom everyday and even went personally into the kitchen to instruct the chief to cook special dishes for lady joan. knowing that lady joan loves the scent of rosemary herb, he ordered his man to bring in pots and pots of the plant to be place outside lady joan's room. the scent will then slowly get dispersed into the room and eventually lady joan's mood got better. she started to get out of bed, took slips of drinks. soon she was recovering from her saddness. but the pots of rosemary herbs were still being delivered daily to the area outside lady joan's room. the old pots of herbs were taken out as instructed by lord jescht as he felt that old stalks will lost its scent over a period of time thus fresh new pots of herb must be delievered daily.

lady joan got to know of lord jescht via her chambermaids. she felt so loved but yet so afraid to return into the arms of lord jescht. she was ashame and scare. she did not know how to accept this unwavering love, what should her respond be like? how must she act before lord jescht? thankful? polite?

lady joan was thinking of these things as she was walking in the garden. suddenly a snake appeared out of nowhere and hissed madly at lady joan. she freezed and fainted. when she woke up, she was in the arms of lord jescht. he calm helped her back to her feet and told her that he had chased the snake away. at that moment lady joan felt angry and loved at the same time. she was angry that lord jescht was still that calm gentleman rather than the sort of charming passionate prince that she so dream of but at the same time she knew lord jescht had loved her regardless of her 'unfaithfulness'.

as lady joan lean against lord jescht's support, walking back to the house, she made up her mind to return to the steady love of lord jescht. the sort of love that is 100% there for her regardless of... it may be boring and predictable but its also trustworthy and pure. afterall 30yrs later when they both had aged dearly, its the trustworthy, pure love that will be by her side not that passionate excitement.

my heart...

my heart was torn apart and fixed back into pieces again. i stared into the screen watching the couple battle against their gulit and their pride. they had loved and were still loving each other but untold anger not only seperated them physically, it blocked them emotionally towards each other.

the need to love and to be loved, the need to understand and to be understood. so many times we only focus on our need to be loved and to be understood that we forget others have their needs too. what will life is if we are only griped by gulit and all those "should had done this/that for her/him"? it will be terrible. it might make us a better person when we meet the next-in-line but sometime we may try so hard that the 2nd best knows it only too well that we are trying so very hard. so hard that its choking not only us but him/her as well.

no, i am not going through some difficult times but may i recommend the show "alone in love" a korean drama to all who are married and is starting to dislike your spouse.



let us not live a day in our life filled with regrets. =)

death brought us near

its father's day again. father's day celebration is pretty smiliar every year for me. while other wonder what they ought to do that day, what to buy or where to go, i have it same - year after year without the fear of being complaint.

in the morning i will take a trip to the flora market and pick up a few stalks of sweet smelling orchid then detour to the nearby eatery to buy a box of mantou and a bottle of sweet rice wine. these are my father's favourite. by this time it will be mid-morning. as the morning sun shines and the breeze glides across my face, i would wind down my car's windows and drive straight to the hill 3 km south of the flora market, facing the meadow. that is my father's resting place, it was a site he and my mother chose together years before their departure.

father dearest had left me orphan 5 years ago after my mother's battle against breast cancer ended with her death on the operation theater. since than i had moved on with my life in a tragically lonely way. although i was already 25 then, life without them was greatly different! every mother or father day, i would spent the morning at their grave. sometime it was just updating them of my life, other times it was me complaining to them of my loneliness. maybe they had heard my plea to shake off this singlehood status or maybe it was a gift from God above. the plot of land that was next to my parents which had been vacant for many years, was finally occupied this year by a freshly made tombstone.

as i placed the orchids, mantou and sweet wine before my father's tombstone, i realised that there were flowers and wine before my father's neighbour's too. i giggled to myself and wonder if the 2 fathers chatting over a glass of wine. curious i walked over to the tombstone next to my father's and started to inspect the writting and picture on it. its a single picture with a handsome face. it read 'here lies a man loving and strong.' i can't help wonder who was it that left the flowers and wine there. just then the sky started to pour. it was the weirdest thing ever! such heavy rain with no grey clouds to hint its coming and the funniest thing was than it stopped as soon as i reached my car.

parked next to my car was a car of the same model and color. seeing it parked next to mine, makes me feel that i was in some sort of honda car-showroom i chuckled a bit. a man came out of the car and smiled at me. he greeted me and asked if i could help him with his car. he had a flat battery and was about to call for help until he saw me coming over. he wonder since our car or of the same model maybe he could get a little 'engery' from my battery. i agreed and whip out some serious stuff from the boot. he looked at me surprisely and asked "wow, a woman carrying all of these power tools and cables in the car? if i didn't know better i would guess you are some sort of serial killer or something!" i laughed and explained that i am working part time as a highway car resusce team.

after that he invited me to have coffee with him somewhere nearby to thanks me. he was new to this area thus i introduced him to the mantou shop. the shopkeeper greeted us warmly as we stepped in. "hanna! so you aren't alone this time round huh? your dad must be so happy to see you attached!" the shopkeep's wife shouted across the shop from the kitchen. i blushed and explained it was not as she thought it to be. she laughed and said "not young already! still so shy!" and disappeared back into the kitchen.

after much chatting, i realised that his name is gongsan, he is the son of the 'new neighbour'. he was the only son and was the only relative his dad had. his mom had ran away with some young chap and he had not heard of her since. he was SINGLE and was never married. i tried to dig into more but it was ended abruptly by the shopkeeper screaming "ticketing police!!! quick go get your cars before he issue a fine!!!" both of us ran out of the shop after placing a few tens on the table. we got into our car respectively and started driving off.

on my way back to the city, i regreted not asking him for his number and felt a fine might even be more profitable than loosing his track. but it was all too late. then i thought if i visit my parents more often maybe i can see him again. but that was as crazy as trying to fish for a needle in the sea! so i let out a deep sigh and continued home.

2 weeks later as i stepped into my office, there standing in the middle of the room was gongsan. he was bowing to everyone and greeting everyone with "thanks for having me and please teach me if i am not good enough". i was shocked but happy. i walked next to him and tap him on the shoulder. "hi! we meet again! what are you doing here?!" gongsan smiled at me and explained that he is on some exchange program and he will be working with our team for the next 3 months before he is posted back to his company (in a town 5 hours away from here).

our relationship grew in leaps and bounds as we spent lots of time together during and after work. by the end of 3 months we were ready to talk about marriage and stuff. i decided to quit my job and moved back to his place. it was a big risk that i was willing to take. after several visits to both our parents, we agreed to get married at the end of the year.

it is weird how our parents had brought us together and how our parents from neighbours had became in-laws. visiting our parents had now become easier for both of us. neither of them will be jealous (if they could ever be) of us spending more time with one than the other cause we always make sure we visit the parents of both side at the same time.